This is a terrific site - Low Carb Luxury - I've started back on Atkins, and after 2 weeks had the energy to clean the garage; this will be the third week on, and I'm actually looking forward to working on my next project and doubt that I'll need to spend the day Saturday sleeping. I realize that chronic fatigue is considered something of a made up condition, but for me anyway, it has been very nearly debilitating. It's amazing that being on a low carb diet is what genuinely helps me. I guess that since my doctor can't find anything conventionally wrong with me and this diet is working, I'll just enjoy the results.

I used to work with a woman who had beautiful natural blonde hair, baby blue eyes, and a lovely face - she was considerably over-weight. We all had brought in pictures of ourselves and families when we were younger and were laughing over the clothes and changes that take place over the years. Her pictures showed that she had been a knock-out - truly gorgeous! I asked her privately after that if she had considered losing the weight, especially since she had such a beautiful face. She told me that she would never go back to being slim - that when she gained weight she realized how shallow people can be; that she had been treated well by people who, know that she was fat, treated her poorly. She said that you don't know who is genuine and really your friend when you're beautiful. When you're fat, your friends are really friends. She only had time for people without bigotry.

I've spent most of my life with an evolving idea of what I really look like, what I wanted my body to look like and be like, and being influenced by others telling me what I looked like and what I should look like. For lots of reasons, over the past 10 years or so I've gained quite a bit of weight and have gone from running two miles a day and being a pretty darn good ice skater, to having chronic fatigue and pain. I've also learned how fat people are treated, and discovered who is a real friend and who isn't. I've also learned to appreciate and be thankful for the lessons this change in my body and appearance have taught me.

As much as I appreciate these lessons, I know that it is time for some adjustments. One of the biggest problems for me is not spending enough time taking care of myself, protecting and improving my health, and that needs to change. The good thing, though, is that this time it's not about changing so I will be happy when I change. I'm already happy with the way things are, but I'm also willing to let the objects of my lessons go to try out another way of being myself.

I'm taking things one step and one project at a time, and reminding myself to be mindful of each step - learning from each step.