I really do believe that we have a choice about who we are as people - I wonder if, when we say we have no choice, it's who I am, it's my identity, we're really trying to convince ourselves as well as anyone else. That it's an excuse for not making the effort to change.
I like the garden analogy very much - I truely do believe that each of us has all of the seeds of human nature within us, and that it's our choice which of those seeds to nurture and which to invite not to grow. That some of the seeds that grow have been as a result of our social and cultural conditioning, some have been cultivated or discouraged by our parents and friends, and many have simply grown out of habit or mindlessness.
In taking responsibility for my feelings and actions, I have an opportunity to look at myself and discover which of those seeds I'm happy has grown, and which I would rather not have as part of my life. It gives me an opportunity to look at the reasons the plant grew - what it at it's root - and to heal that aspect of my life. If the plant is wholesome and is making me happy, how can I nourish that aspect to make it stronger. My choice, i think, is to look at my life objectively and evaluate what things are causing me or others suffering and which ones are causing happiness.
I don't have to make due with what I think I have to be, but I can allow myself to be more than that - to not be so heavily invested in my identity that I lose out on a chance to be happy in my life. I don't have to muscle myself into happiness, by being happy in spite of myself, but rather make choices about what aspects make me happy, and which ones do not.
Why carry around the weeds everywhere I go? I can choose to carry only a single, perfect rose.
