There was a very interesting discussion on the multi-faith online discussion group I frequent. Basicly, we were looking at the idea of the difference between needing others and self-suficiency. One chatter that is a semi-regular, was going on and on about how the idea that we only need ourselves is hogwash, and that we were all liars if we said otherwise. I wanted to know more about his motivation for saying that, and to state my opinion that for me, working on myself - finding self-satisfaction - makes me a better friend. That when we need others, we should look at why we need them. We should be sure that we need others for joyful reasons, not for validation of our worth.

He became very hostile at this, and went on the defensive, putting words in my mouth and making assumptions about what I meant. I continued to discuss calmly, and told him that he had a right to his opinion as did I. The bottom line, though, is that we all have a choice about how we feel. In life, pain is a given, but suffering doesn't have to be.

At that, he was in my face, virtually that is, screaming about how because I am a Buddhist I have no right to tell him anything - that I should keep all my inner peace and light to myself, because it's bullshit. That Buddhism is the most damaging hoax ever perpetrated on the human race. The idea of choice is the ultimate illusion - yes, he said, life is suffering and I needed to wake up to the fact that my "choice" to not feel suffering is a lie.

Now, there was a time in my life that I was used to being persecuted for my religion - in high school, I was beaten fairly badly by a football player because I didn't love "his Jesus" - but it's been ages since I've been the target of such hatred because of my faith. My question to him was "If I change to believe as you do, will I behave the way you do?"

He stormed out of the room, and I left a few minutes later still upset that this kind of prejudice still exists. There's an important difference between accepting hate with equinimity and simply forgetting it exists. I bow to the Buddha nature of that man, since he reminded me of a very important principle. My practice is only strengthen when I use situations like this to look within - to find why I felt upset, why I had forgotten this potential, why I didn't let it roll off my shoulders. All of these help me look at the roots of these feelings.

I know that I can not be harmed in a knowing that is beyond knowing - a feeling between my cells - I just need to find the roots of my fears that this is not true. To invite that seed not to grow any longer. To consider why I am making the choice not to wake up to truth - when I know that answer, I know that I will wake up.